I have had bad Christmases and I’ll probably have more in my future-given my track record but the worst Christmas is always the one you are trying to get through. So this is a bad one.
All was merry and bright and I was blithely counting down to Christmas and a January cruise with my boyfriend when he announced that he had found his dream house and was moving 30-45 minutes further away from me. Which would put the distance at over an hour and several culture bands away. Then he has the nerve to ask me how I was feeling and to tell him what was on my heart. SERIOUSLY????? This was after a day of shopping for the cruise-clothes for him- and spending yet another weekend at his place because he didn’t want to come to mine. Too far, too inconvenient, too much time away from the bird. I’m too tired, too busy, too too too. I’ve been doing the heavy lifting the last few months (of course) trying to come up more and be supportive of the home search but he played me for a fool. He never really even tried to look for a place in his current city or closer to me so he could have the easier commute in reverse traffic. Nope he played me like the love drunk fool I am. He had no intention of staying close. And move in someday-hah that was joke. He effectively shut down that possibility by buying house that would take me over 90 minutes to get to work. So much for mid-week dates. Or mid-week anything.
Of course he is making all sorts of noises about driving to see me and how it will change things but isn’t the end of our relationship etc but I know how it goes……one of us is too busy, the car doesn’t have gas, I have to work blah blah blah and suddenly it will be once in a while and slowly over time he will ghost me.
Happy Christmas and Happy Cruising…….nice to know that in 25 days I will be stuck in a cabin with a man I thought loved me only to find out he loves a garage more than me. Much more………….. He has been a fine one for telling me I’m worth it. And to be honest about how I feel. Great I feel fucking devastated and hurt and stupid and betrayed and foolish. I thought we were moving in one direction and he was obviously moving in the opposite direction. Shame on me.
Objectively, I can say it is a nice garage. But will it keep him warm and say nice things to him? Love him and care about him? Take care of him and worry about him? But I know I am easily replaced…..in fact he is probably shopping around for a local gal to take my place. The hits keep coming.
Apparently my worth to him is a double garage with a workbench.
Cheese&Apple 