I stopped for bagels after church and while in line realized I did not have my wallet in my purse. I got home annoyed but the panic didn’t set in until I couldn’t find it. Two trips to the car in, of course, pouring rain and then the panic set in. Even as I tried to tell myself “Don’t Panic”…….I could feel the panic rising.
And that is when the ghosts sneak in. The Ghost of “You’re so Stupid”, The Ghost of “How could you be so irresponsible”, The Ghost of “You are such an idiot”. Wham I suddenly am embroiled in a battle for my mind. The wallet is just a metaphor…….I have woken up the Ghosts and they are swirling around me fogging my attempts to think clearly and try and remember when and where I last had my wallet. The rising anxiety was fueled by the realization again that I am alone and have to solve my own problems. No one is coming to save me.
This story ends well- my wallet was lying on my bed and while I have no memory of how it got there, all is well. And that is the lesson I have to keep learning over and over……..all is well.
Digging out of the Snowzilla ’16 took a week. A week without work, without school, without anywhere to go and no desire to go anywhere. I spent my time pleasantly reading, knitting, watching tv and ventured out only to walk my dog. I halfheartedly uncovered my car but didn’t get any form of cabin fever at all. I need the downtime replenish my soul.
I am the unusual being known as a social introvert. I am gregarious, the life of the party and love to mingle and engage with people. But I gain my energy and nourishment of my soul from being alone and introspective and solo. My kind of downtime is a week of snow days………the weather precluded any pretense at meeting up with anyone and left me to my own devices and that was grand.
By Thursday two things had happened. I developed bacterial bronchitis and wanted to see my boyfriend. We spent Thursday night and some of Friday together mostly on the couch doing nothing. Marvelous. Yesterday I felt slammed by the bronchitis and today I’m just exhausted and have to go back to work tomorrow. Still I’ll take a week of snow days any day!